The Call

I'm listening to our Christmas choir music (memorization, memorization!) and taking a pause from sorting/packing/cleaning to blog this thought.

I have never felt more alive than I did doing door-to-door evangelism in South Africa. It's like God said, through every experience, that this is what He created me for. I'll admit that I had been giving God a backseat because I was too stressed over my house situation (I should know better), where to live, what to do about school, etc. I got a call at work on Tuesday telling me that we would be closing by Friday (today) at 9 a.m. I left work early and took off the rest of the week to pack and move. Late Thursday, I got another call that my mortgage company is being difficult (again) and the closing would be delayed due to more paperwork that my mortgage company already has but claims they don't.

After the call yesterday, I've stopped packing and gotten back to seeking God. It's his house. He has his reasons. I'm still trusting, as this isn't a permanent situation. Wednesday I was praying and pacing (out loud) about all the reasons why I thought that I was not qualified to be a missionary and why I was not qualified (re: good enough) to go to seminary.

In August, Dr. York was honest with me when he said that my divorce does present a problem as far as the IMB goes, but that there is a loophole there as well. In that same conversation, he told me that he would complete the church affirmation form required for the application or that I could take it to the church office and get our business manager to sign, as they are the only ones authorized to do so. The form was in my car, ready and waiting. And I panicked. I had this whole argument lined up (I expected opposition) and found none.

So, back to Wednesday. I'm ranting to the bathroom mirror about how professors could be judgmental, students could be judgmental...and then it hit me. My pastor, who teaches at Southern and is on the IMB is supporting me in this. When that sank in, I quit my ranting.

Meanwhile, those who barely know me or went on the South Africa trip, are calling me out. "When are you going overseas again?" "When is your next mission trip?" "Where will you go?" "You should just drop everything and go." "Why are you still here?" Admittedly, some of those comments are intended to be jokes, but they all get down to one point: GO.