I feel pretty crappy today, so I called in to work. Anyway, when I started to feel well enough to sit up straight, I decided to research mission boards. (How awesome would it be if I could find one that would accept me w/out a college degree??)
The first one I decided to look at is the IMB, and I found this really cool story about an art student. If you look at the larger image of the picture, you can see the Bible story cloth in the background. It's also a good tool for American kids. Frankly, I'm dying to go on any of these trips. So for now, I should probably quit looking. I really need to finish my degree.
After I typed this paragraph, I read an article linked to the IMB about what it takes to go. I've been growing and learning a lot through my Experiencing God small group, and after reading the IMB article, something that God has been telling me just made more sense. I've sensed that He wants me to grow closer to Him in the relationship and to trust Him more for my future. Without a very strong faith, I would crumble in the face of intense persecution. I also need to move away from this intense fear of man.
Hmmmm. Funny how I started this post thinking one way, and then it kind of changed into something else.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Random Thoughts: Afterthoughts
1. Youth all nighter went well. Gospel was presented at exactly 3:30 and when the kids turned in their note cards (w/ name written on them & star if they wanted to talk to someone or know more), their were twelve cards w/ stars. I have learned that I am still completely terrible at miniature golf. I play the game, so that others can win!
2. Before we left for the all nighter, Jamie, our group leader in South Africa, tells me that Pastor Thaboe called him on Sunday looking for me. I asked Jamie what he wanted, and he said that he thought he just wanted to check on me. I need to get in touch with him. It will make me want to go back ASAP. I know it will.
3. Where do we draw the line on "acceptable" music? A song was skipped last night on the jukebox (rightfully so), but it was just as bad (lyrically) as some of the other songs that played.
4. I don't want to leave my house until I'm sure I can be gone for awhile, because today is Switzer Covered Bridge Day. There are people everywhere who do not know how to walk on the sides, and not in the middle, of a country road. Apparently, it is not as dangerous as a city road.
5. A small thing God took care of yesterday: I joked w/ a work friend that I would have to use the same ten boxes to move my stuff, as that was as many as I had. At 3:30 in the afternoon (what is it w/ 3:30?!), the janitor came to tell me that there were tons of boxes left over from conference material prep. I went home w/ a car full of boxes and there are more locked in my office to take home on Monday. It was something I didn't think to pray about, but that God provided.
2. Before we left for the all nighter, Jamie, our group leader in South Africa, tells me that Pastor Thaboe called him on Sunday looking for me. I asked Jamie what he wanted, and he said that he thought he just wanted to check on me. I need to get in touch with him. It will make me want to go back ASAP. I know it will.
3. Where do we draw the line on "acceptable" music? A song was skipped last night on the jukebox (rightfully so), but it was just as bad (lyrically) as some of the other songs that played.
4. I don't want to leave my house until I'm sure I can be gone for awhile, because today is Switzer Covered Bridge Day. There are people everywhere who do not know how to walk on the sides, and not in the middle, of a country road. Apparently, it is not as dangerous as a city road.
5. A small thing God took care of yesterday: I joked w/ a work friend that I would have to use the same ten boxes to move my stuff, as that was as many as I had. At 3:30 in the afternoon (what is it w/ 3:30?!), the janitor came to tell me that there were tons of boxes left over from conference material prep. I went home w/ a car full of boxes and there are more locked in my office to take home on Monday. It was something I didn't think to pray about, but that God provided.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Random Thoughts
Tonight is the youth all nighter at Buck Run. (It will be AWESOME!) I was unable to rest up after work, so I drove to Starbucks to prepare myself. One grande Cinnamon Dolce Latte later, I am over hyped. So, I thought I'd unleash some of these hyperly random thoughts on the world before I get a shower and head out. (Btw, for anyone who reads this before, or during, the 3:30 a.m. hour {KY time} that's when the youth minister will be presenting the gospel. Pray your hearts out that seeds will be planted...or harvested.)
1. It occured to me today that, like money, music is amoral. And musical "genres" annoy me.
2. I was going to upload more South Africa pics to my Facebook, but I don't have the patience to sit still and watch the computer...so I'll do that later. And I don't want to think about my African friends right now. I read this article on the BBC News site today and I find it disturbing. No wonder they don't seem to be taking HIV/AIDS very seriously. I also didn't know that South Africa has the highest HIV/AIDS population. Thoughts on this later...
3. I talked to the mortgage company today and the short sale is still a go...so I should be moving in a few weeks. That's better than this weekend, on no sleep, like I originally thought.
Anyone want to buy my stuff??!!??
4. So in a few weeks, I'll have a room mate. That should be interesting.
5. I like Cinnamon Dolce Lattes because of the cinnamon. I don't usually like coffee, but the cinnamon gives it an extra sneaky tingly punch that I like. Actually, I think that's the same reason that I like Cinnamon ice cream (best ever can be found at Shelbyvill's Pie Kitchen). It's cold but warm and tingly, too.
6. I'm really looking forward to seeing Fireproof . I'll have to go to Lexington or Louisville, tho. I'm thinking I might go on Tuesday. I'm afraid I'll fall asleep if I go see it tomorrow.
7. God took care of some more small things today. More on that later...
1. It occured to me today that, like money, music is amoral. And musical "genres" annoy me.
2. I was going to upload more South Africa pics to my Facebook, but I don't have the patience to sit still and watch the computer...so I'll do that later. And I don't want to think about my African friends right now. I read this article on the BBC News site today and I find it disturbing. No wonder they don't seem to be taking HIV/AIDS very seriously. I also didn't know that South Africa has the highest HIV/AIDS population. Thoughts on this later...
3. I talked to the mortgage company today and the short sale is still a go...so I should be moving in a few weeks. That's better than this weekend, on no sleep, like I originally thought.
Anyone want to buy my stuff??!!??
4. So in a few weeks, I'll have a room mate. That should be interesting.
5. I like Cinnamon Dolce Lattes because of the cinnamon. I don't usually like coffee, but the cinnamon gives it an extra sneaky tingly punch that I like. Actually, I think that's the same reason that I like Cinnamon ice cream (best ever can be found at Shelbyvill's Pie Kitchen). It's cold but warm and tingly, too.
6. I'm really looking forward to seeing Fireproof . I'll have to go to Lexington or Louisville, tho. I'm thinking I might go on Tuesday. I'm afraid I'll fall asleep if I go see it tomorrow.
7. God took care of some more small things today. More on that later...
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
It's the Little Things
Yesterday I was watching a little t.v. before my Experiencing God Bible study. Prince was mentioned, and right at that second all I could think was: I want to listen to When Doves Cry NOW! So I did what broke folk everywhere do and pull up the song on YouTube. The only video I could find had no sound. Apparently, Prince is from the Lars Ulrich (of Metallica) school of thought which is that the fans must pay for the music at all times. I thought, okay, no big deal and headed off to my study.
After the study I went to eat at Chili's with my friend S. We're chatting about random things when I realize that whatever they're pumping through the speakers sounds familiar. She looks at me like I'm crazy when I ask if she hears it too. I get super excited. "The song! It's When Doves Cry! By Prince!" I explain the reason for my excitement and think about how cool it is that the God who made the universe would care enough to have something as simple as a song play while I'm eating. In my case, it's often the little things in life that remind me of how small I am and how BIG God is.
My dad doesn't realize sometimes that it's the little things he does that also being me closer to God. He gets to missing me when I don't have time to come over for dinner, so occasionally he will call me to eat Chinese food with him at lunch. (Chinese is our "thing" because my mother and brother hate it.) Today was one of those days. We had finished our meal and gotten the check and fortune cookies. Dad read his fortune, and then I read mine.
"You have the ability to accomplish great things."
My dad looks at me and says, "You can, you know."
Maybe a moment like this is only fully understood by other "daddy's girls". In this moment I felt restored, in a sense. Something as life changing (shattering) as a divorce can leave a person wondering how horrible they truly are, that they are incapable of accomplishing anything and totally unlovable. My father believes I can do anything I set my mind to, and I felt as if my heavenly Father was telling me so, too. Does He give me the strength and resources? Absolutely. Does He still love me even when I screw up? Most definitely. That is why, more than anything, I want to follow what He wants for me, and not my own path. It is what is making it so hard for me to decide on continuing my education. Do I pursue an education in missions exclusively (through Boyce), or do I finish my degree in (teaching) English (8th-12th grade)? I've been told by several people that a degree in English would open doors to some countries that would otherwise be closed.
Either way, I'm standing at the precipice of my future, and I can feel the love and support holding me up, just in case I start to fall.
Currently Listening to: Washed by the Water, by Need to Breathe from The Heat
After the study I went to eat at Chili's with my friend S. We're chatting about random things when I realize that whatever they're pumping through the speakers sounds familiar. She looks at me like I'm crazy when I ask if she hears it too. I get super excited. "The song! It's When Doves Cry! By Prince!" I explain the reason for my excitement and think about how cool it is that the God who made the universe would care enough to have something as simple as a song play while I'm eating. In my case, it's often the little things in life that remind me of how small I am and how BIG God is.
My dad doesn't realize sometimes that it's the little things he does that also being me closer to God. He gets to missing me when I don't have time to come over for dinner, so occasionally he will call me to eat Chinese food with him at lunch. (Chinese is our "thing" because my mother and brother hate it.) Today was one of those days. We had finished our meal and gotten the check and fortune cookies. Dad read his fortune, and then I read mine.
"You have the ability to accomplish great things."
My dad looks at me and says, "You can, you know."
Maybe a moment like this is only fully understood by other "daddy's girls". In this moment I felt restored, in a sense. Something as life changing (shattering) as a divorce can leave a person wondering how horrible they truly are, that they are incapable of accomplishing anything and totally unlovable. My father believes I can do anything I set my mind to, and I felt as if my heavenly Father was telling me so, too. Does He give me the strength and resources? Absolutely. Does He still love me even when I screw up? Most definitely. That is why, more than anything, I want to follow what He wants for me, and not my own path. It is what is making it so hard for me to decide on continuing my education. Do I pursue an education in missions exclusively (through Boyce), or do I finish my degree in (teaching) English (8th-12th grade)? I've been told by several people that a degree in English would open doors to some countries that would otherwise be closed.
Either way, I'm standing at the precipice of my future, and I can feel the love and support holding me up, just in case I start to fall.
Currently Listening to: Washed by the Water, by Need to Breathe from The Heat
Monday, September 22, 2008
Wow, Another Post!
Three posts in two days, what's up with that?
I'm procrastinating because I have, at best, one week to pack everything, get rid of three fourths of it, and move out of this house! After talking to my soon-to-be roomie* for a bit on the phone, I watched some t.v. I'm not all that crazy about t.v., but a new show came on called Worst Week and it was hysterical. You really have to watch it to appreciate it.
*This will be the first time I've officially had a roommate. I don't think that my parents, brother and ex-husband count.
I'm procrastinating because I have, at best, one week to pack everything, get rid of three fourths of it, and move out of this house! After talking to my soon-to-be roomie* for a bit on the phone, I watched some t.v. I'm not all that crazy about t.v., but a new show came on called Worst Week and it was hysterical. You really have to watch it to appreciate it.
*This will be the first time I've officially had a roommate. I don't think that my parents, brother and ex-husband count.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Realizations and Wordsmithing
A friend and I coined a new word tonight. It is one instance where my ability to trip over words paid off. The word is: squopping. Which is basically "cop a squat" mushed together. We were people watching in front of Starbucks and a guy was squopping by his motorcycle.
I have also discovered that I love Starbucks' Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Drinking it at nine at night probably wasn't the wisest thing I've ever done.
I watched the LSU vs. Auburn game last night. Wow. I have to say I'm impressed by LSU. I don't know much about college football, but that game was intense. I do feel bad for Hatch, though.
It is ten p.m. and I just realized that today would have been my sixth wedding anniversary. It didn't sink in when I wrote the date on my registration tab at church this a.m., or when I looked at receipts from Kroger and O'Charley's. I decided to read some blogs, and someone posted today. My first thought: Hmmmm, why should this date matter? Did I forget someone's birthday?
Followed by: Oh, yeah. That. Glory to God that I have healed as well as I have. A year ago I thought that I would remember this day every year for the rest of my life, haul out the photos, and have a cry fest. This year I am strongly tempted to haul out my wedding dress and turn it into some kind of cool Halloween costume...or something. Strange how a day I thought was so important to my existence, has become just another day.
So, before I focus too much on that, I'm going to talk to my Abba, Father, and get some sleeps.
I have also discovered that I love Starbucks' Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Drinking it at nine at night probably wasn't the wisest thing I've ever done.
I watched the LSU vs. Auburn game last night. Wow. I have to say I'm impressed by LSU. I don't know much about college football, but that game was intense. I do feel bad for Hatch, though.
It is ten p.m. and I just realized that today would have been my sixth wedding anniversary. It didn't sink in when I wrote the date on my registration tab at church this a.m., or when I looked at receipts from Kroger and O'Charley's. I decided to read some blogs, and someone posted today. My first thought: Hmmmm, why should this date matter? Did I forget someone's birthday?
Followed by: Oh, yeah. That. Glory to God that I have healed as well as I have. A year ago I thought that I would remember this day every year for the rest of my life, haul out the photos, and have a cry fest. This year I am strongly tempted to haul out my wedding dress and turn it into some kind of cool Halloween costume...or something. Strange how a day I thought was so important to my existence, has become just another day.
So, before I focus too much on that, I'm going to talk to my Abba, Father, and get some sleeps.
Reading List
Even though I know that I am moving in under two weeks and my already overstuffed bookshelves need to be downsized, I have continued to buy books on sale and waste valuable packing time by reading. To help me to keep track, I've decided to compile a list.
Reading:
1. Boundaries - So far an easy read that is quote worthy and helping me to see what I need to correct in my own life. (reading now)
2. Keep A Quiet Heart (Elisabeth Elliot) - I read a section of two from this book every day during my quiet time. (ongoing)
3. The Business of Heaven: Daily Readings (C. S. Lewis) - I read an entry daily from this book, also during quiet time. (ongoing)
4. Discover Your Destiny (Charles Stanley) - I've read it before and it has taken up space on my shelf for awhile. I'd like to read it again when things calm down.
5. A Man of Grace and Grit: Paul (Charles R. Swindoll) - I can't *wait* to read this one! Paul is my favorite, so I'm saving this book until I can focus on it 100%. It's my reward for moving. (looking forward to it)
6. Inside Prince Caspian (Devin Brown) - This book was a freebie from Asbury when I visited their campus earlier this summer. I suspect that it will involve a lot of thinking and I will want to reread the Chronicles, so I'm saving it. (when I have time)
And because I like to get deep in the Word, a list of the bible studies and other courses that I am taking.
Bible Studies/Classes:
1. Way of the Master (Kirk Cameron/Ray Comfort) - Baby steps to evangelism. This study is really getting me out of my comfort zone and helping me to be more of a "people person". Not to mention evangelism, which is where my heart is at. I'm about three weeks in. Meets Wednesdays.
2. Financial Peace (Dave Ramsey) - I hate to focus too much on money, but I also need to be a good steward of my resources, so I am hoping that this will get me on track. Also three weeks in. Meets Sundays.
3. Experiencing God (Blackabys) - Phenomenal study. I am growing by leaps and bounds through this and seeing my walk in a whole new light. Our small group is about nine weeks in, we meet on Tuesday nights.
4. Faith, Hope & Luck (Andy Stanley?)- This study is one through Hope Community. We had a meet and greet last Monday; the first official session will be next Monday. I haven't decided if I will officially participate through the course, as I try to reserve my final decision until after the first session. I am concerned that we were told at the meet and greet that we wouldn't need our Bibles, because the references would be on the screen. This bothers me, because it could inhibit the discussion from going deeper. I don't know if this has happened to anyone else, but the natual flow of discussion at Bible studies often leads to something else in the Bible, which leads to someone saying, "Let's look it up and see". I NEED DEPTH. This one meets every other Monday.
Reading:
1. Boundaries - So far an easy read that is quote worthy and helping me to see what I need to correct in my own life. (reading now)
2. Keep A Quiet Heart (Elisabeth Elliot) - I read a section of two from this book every day during my quiet time. (ongoing)
3. The Business of Heaven: Daily Readings (C. S. Lewis) - I read an entry daily from this book, also during quiet time. (ongoing)
4. Discover Your Destiny (Charles Stanley) - I've read it before and it has taken up space on my shelf for awhile. I'd like to read it again when things calm down.
5. A Man of Grace and Grit: Paul (Charles R. Swindoll) - I can't *wait* to read this one! Paul is my favorite, so I'm saving this book until I can focus on it 100%. It's my reward for moving. (looking forward to it)
6. Inside Prince Caspian (Devin Brown) - This book was a freebie from Asbury when I visited their campus earlier this summer. I suspect that it will involve a lot of thinking and I will want to reread the Chronicles, so I'm saving it. (when I have time)
And because I like to get deep in the Word, a list of the bible studies and other courses that I am taking.
Bible Studies/Classes:
1. Way of the Master (Kirk Cameron/Ray Comfort) - Baby steps to evangelism. This study is really getting me out of my comfort zone and helping me to be more of a "people person". Not to mention evangelism, which is where my heart is at. I'm about three weeks in. Meets Wednesdays.
2. Financial Peace (Dave Ramsey) - I hate to focus too much on money, but I also need to be a good steward of my resources, so I am hoping that this will get me on track. Also three weeks in. Meets Sundays.
3. Experiencing God (Blackabys) - Phenomenal study. I am growing by leaps and bounds through this and seeing my walk in a whole new light. Our small group is about nine weeks in, we meet on Tuesday nights.
4. Faith, Hope & Luck (Andy Stanley?)- This study is one through Hope Community. We had a meet and greet last Monday; the first official session will be next Monday. I haven't decided if I will officially participate through the course, as I try to reserve my final decision until after the first session. I am concerned that we were told at the meet and greet that we wouldn't need our Bibles, because the references would be on the screen. This bothers me, because it could inhibit the discussion from going deeper. I don't know if this has happened to anyone else, but the natual flow of discussion at Bible studies often leads to something else in the Bible, which leads to someone saying, "Let's look it up and see". I NEED DEPTH. This one meets every other Monday.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Ten Years
Today has been both a happy day and a sad day for me. Happy because I got the third chance I'd prayed for to run into someone who I hadn't seen in ten years, and whose soul I desperately want to see in heaven. Happy because I am so terrified of people and actually had the courage to approach him at his table and (re)introduce myself. Happy because God answered my prayer.
Sad because I can't make this type of decision for him. Sad because he still seemed so....broken and hopeless.
Tonight we had a Sunday School class dinner at Longhorn in Frankfort. I found my guitar charm necklace Monday night, and have been wearing it ever since. At dinner, the lady across from me asked if it was a guitar and if I played. I said yes, I used to play, and I missed the music. When I got home, I got my guitar out of the case and tried to see what I could remember. Not much of anything.
I know that I'll never be famous or on a stage or even half as good as someone like Stevie Ray Vaughan, but I miss being able to just play, me and this guitar, and let my emotions roll as they pleased. Ten years ago, this was my greatest pleasure, my only outlet. I lived, breathed and dreamed music to the point that my dad got worried and told me this obsession had to stop. Those of you reading this (if that's any of you), are probably wondering: If you loved it so much, why did you stop?
The answer to that, friends, is I fell in love with a (human) someone and I felt that I had to decide between him and music. I chose him. Nearly six years and a divorce later, I wish I'd stuck to music. So tonight, I'm making a promise to myself that I will never again change who I am to "make" or "hope" some guy might like me more than the other girl across the room.
I promise the next post will be more....uplifting.
Sad because I can't make this type of decision for him. Sad because he still seemed so....broken and hopeless.
Tonight we had a Sunday School class dinner at Longhorn in Frankfort. I found my guitar charm necklace Monday night, and have been wearing it ever since. At dinner, the lady across from me asked if it was a guitar and if I played. I said yes, I used to play, and I missed the music. When I got home, I got my guitar out of the case and tried to see what I could remember. Not much of anything.
I know that I'll never be famous or on a stage or even half as good as someone like Stevie Ray Vaughan, but I miss being able to just play, me and this guitar, and let my emotions roll as they pleased. Ten years ago, this was my greatest pleasure, my only outlet. I lived, breathed and dreamed music to the point that my dad got worried and told me this obsession had to stop. Those of you reading this (if that's any of you), are probably wondering: If you loved it so much, why did you stop?
The answer to that, friends, is I fell in love with a (human) someone and I felt that I had to decide between him and music. I chose him. Nearly six years and a divorce later, I wish I'd stuck to music. So tonight, I'm making a promise to myself that I will never again change who I am to "make" or "hope" some guy might like me more than the other girl across the room.
I promise the next post will be more....uplifting.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
2008 National Quartet Convention
It has come as quite a shocker to some that I attended the National Quartet Convention last night. Those who are shocked do not realize that it was a repeat visit and that I attended about ten years ago. I love all types of music, and while quartets* are sometimes hit or miss, I enjoyed myself last night!
Anyway. I found a new favorite last night. Check out The Isaacs when you get a moment. They do not disappoint! (Note to the shocked: I also enjoy bluegrass.)
All this talk about music has made me break out my guitar, so I'm off to see how much I can remember.
*The shocked would also be surprised to know that I was once in a quartet. The ill fated Sisters in Christ that quietly broke up after only two performances of "Our God is an Awesome God".
Anyway. I found a new favorite last night. Check out The Isaacs when you get a moment. They do not disappoint! (Note to the shocked: I also enjoy bluegrass.)
All this talk about music has made me break out my guitar, so I'm off to see how much I can remember.
*The shocked would also be surprised to know that I was once in a quartet. The ill fated Sisters in Christ that quietly broke up after only two performances of "Our God is an Awesome God".
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Heart Song: Whiskey in the Jar
Awhile back, I did a post on "heart songs". One of those songs is called Whiskey in the Jar, and the version I referred to is played by Metallica on the album Garage Inc. When I listen to the album, a few people always come to mind. One of those people I hadn't seen in almost ten years, and we did not part on good terms. I was a spoiled brat, and an idiot on top of it. Who wants to stick around for that?
Anyway. I worked the Nationwide race at the Kentucky Speedway as an usher back in June. I was working another usher's section, when I came face to face with this person, blinked, and he was gone. I thought I'd imagined it and had put it out of my mind. I couldn't help thinking that I was supposed to say something to him, and had blown it. I prayed about it, and figured I wouldn't see him anytime soon as I had been told he'd moved out of state some time ago.
This past Friday, I decided to drive across town to clear my head and get some lunch at the west side McDonald's (yes, it is faster). I was in line at the drive through when I noticed two guys walking across the parking lot (from behind me) into MickeyD's (in front of me). One of them was wearing a floppy hat just like the guy at the race. One of the guys (most likely his boss), stepped into some gum. Floppy hat guy laughed and smoked just like he always had. I kind of laughed to myself until I realized that it WAS him! And I was stuck in the drive through!! And I was blowing my second chance!!!
I paid for my food and got my food just as they reached the doors. I turned to be sure my hunch was right and I'm 99% sure he saw and recognized me. The right thing to do would have been to find a parking space and go talk. Instead, I drove back to work and it has been bothering me ever since.
So, I'm praying for a third chance.
Anyway. I worked the Nationwide race at the Kentucky Speedway as an usher back in June. I was working another usher's section, when I came face to face with this person, blinked, and he was gone. I thought I'd imagined it and had put it out of my mind. I couldn't help thinking that I was supposed to say something to him, and had blown it. I prayed about it, and figured I wouldn't see him anytime soon as I had been told he'd moved out of state some time ago.
This past Friday, I decided to drive across town to clear my head and get some lunch at the west side McDonald's (yes, it is faster). I was in line at the drive through when I noticed two guys walking across the parking lot (from behind me) into MickeyD's (in front of me). One of them was wearing a floppy hat just like the guy at the race. One of the guys (most likely his boss), stepped into some gum. Floppy hat guy laughed and smoked just like he always had. I kind of laughed to myself until I realized that it WAS him! And I was stuck in the drive through!! And I was blowing my second chance!!!
I paid for my food and got my food just as they reached the doors. I turned to be sure my hunch was right and I'm 99% sure he saw and recognized me. The right thing to do would have been to find a parking space and go talk. Instead, I drove back to work and it has been bothering me ever since.
So, I'm praying for a third chance.
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