It's the Little Things

Yesterday I was watching a little t.v. before my Experiencing God Bible study. Prince was mentioned, and right at that second all I could think was: I want to listen to When Doves Cry NOW! So I did what broke folk everywhere do and pull up the song on YouTube. The only video I could find had no sound. Apparently, Prince is from the Lars Ulrich (of Metallica) school of thought which is that the fans must pay for the music at all times. I thought, okay, no big deal and headed off to my study.

After the study I went to eat at Chili's with my friend S. We're chatting about random things when I realize that whatever they're pumping through the speakers sounds familiar. She looks at me like I'm crazy when I ask if she hears it too. I get super excited. "The song! It's When Doves Cry! By Prince!" I explain the reason for my excitement and think about how cool it is that the God who made the universe would care enough to have something as simple as a song play while I'm eating. In my case, it's often the little things in life that remind me of how small I am and how BIG God is.

My dad doesn't realize sometimes that it's the little things he does that also being me closer to God. He gets to missing me when I don't have time to come over for dinner, so occasionally he will call me to eat Chinese food with him at lunch. (Chinese is our "thing" because my mother and brother hate it.) Today was one of those days. We had finished our meal and gotten the check and fortune cookies. Dad read his fortune, and then I read mine.

"You have the ability to accomplish great things."

My dad looks at me and says, "You can, you know."

Maybe a moment like this is only fully understood by other "daddy's girls". In this moment I felt restored, in a sense. Something as life changing (shattering) as a divorce can leave a person wondering how horrible they truly are, that they are incapable of accomplishing anything and totally unlovable. My father believes I can do anything I set my mind to, and I felt as if my heavenly Father was telling me so, too. Does He give me the strength and resources? Absolutely. Does He still love me even when I screw up? Most definitely. That is why, more than anything, I want to follow what He wants for me, and not my own path. It is what is making it so hard for me to decide on continuing my education. Do I pursue an education in missions exclusively (through Boyce), or do I finish my degree in (teaching) English (8th-12th grade)? I've been told by several people that a degree in English would open doors to some countries that would otherwise be closed.

Either way, I'm standing at the precipice of my future, and I can feel the love and support holding me up, just in case I start to fall.

Currently Listening to: Washed by the Water, by Need to Breathe from The Heat