Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Eight Minus Jon & Kate?
The tabloids have been buzzing this week about the indiscretions of Jon and Kate (from Jon and Kate Plus 8 fame). I admit to watching several of the show's episodes and enjoying them for the most part with one cringe inducing exception: the way Kate treats Jon. I am sure that taking care of eight children all day plus working around a camera crew is stressful in addition to the everyday things. I can't speak from the experience of having eight children, but I can speak from the experience of going through a painful divorce. The pain that this is going to cause those children, now and in the future, is a huge price to pay. The stark truth is that perhaps this could have been prevented with a bit of respect...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Realizations and Wordsmithing
A friend and I coined a new word tonight. It is one instance where my ability to trip over words paid off. The word is: squopping. Which is basically "cop a squat" mushed together. We were people watching in front of Starbucks and a guy was squopping by his motorcycle.
I have also discovered that I love Starbucks' Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Drinking it at nine at night probably wasn't the wisest thing I've ever done.
I watched the LSU vs. Auburn game last night. Wow. I have to say I'm impressed by LSU. I don't know much about college football, but that game was intense. I do feel bad for Hatch, though.
It is ten p.m. and I just realized that today would have been my sixth wedding anniversary. It didn't sink in when I wrote the date on my registration tab at church this a.m., or when I looked at receipts from Kroger and O'Charley's. I decided to read some blogs, and someone posted today. My first thought: Hmmmm, why should this date matter? Did I forget someone's birthday?
Followed by: Oh, yeah. That. Glory to God that I have healed as well as I have. A year ago I thought that I would remember this day every year for the rest of my life, haul out the photos, and have a cry fest. This year I am strongly tempted to haul out my wedding dress and turn it into some kind of cool Halloween costume...or something. Strange how a day I thought was so important to my existence, has become just another day.
So, before I focus too much on that, I'm going to talk to my Abba, Father, and get some sleeps.
I have also discovered that I love Starbucks' Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Drinking it at nine at night probably wasn't the wisest thing I've ever done.
I watched the LSU vs. Auburn game last night. Wow. I have to say I'm impressed by LSU. I don't know much about college football, but that game was intense. I do feel bad for Hatch, though.
It is ten p.m. and I just realized that today would have been my sixth wedding anniversary. It didn't sink in when I wrote the date on my registration tab at church this a.m., or when I looked at receipts from Kroger and O'Charley's. I decided to read some blogs, and someone posted today. My first thought: Hmmmm, why should this date matter? Did I forget someone's birthday?
Followed by: Oh, yeah. That. Glory to God that I have healed as well as I have. A year ago I thought that I would remember this day every year for the rest of my life, haul out the photos, and have a cry fest. This year I am strongly tempted to haul out my wedding dress and turn it into some kind of cool Halloween costume...or something. Strange how a day I thought was so important to my existence, has become just another day.
So, before I focus too much on that, I'm going to talk to my Abba, Father, and get some sleeps.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
On Hermeneutical Divorce
For the most part, I’ve done my best to avoid or stay out of arguments (online or otherwise) between my fellow Christians on hot topic issues that will continue to be an argument until Christ comes back. I’ve considered them as not essential to salvation and therefore, just been chill about the whole thing. Just as "hermeneutic" is used as a word for explaining, debate is another word for argument and life is too short for that. The Bible is pretty clear on arguments, too (2 Tim. 2: 14, 23). However, by avoiding one of the "big daddy" issues, I’ve essentially buried a major part of my witness for Christ. I’ve allowed proof of the greatest pain that led me to the greatest joy of my life be silenced by a spirit of fear and avoidance. No more. (I expect some demons just got the cold chills and Satan just got a little nervous.) It is my hope that this post and any comments that follow it will reflect 2 Tim. 2:24-26. Also note that any use of the word "you" refers to the reader in general.
While killing time at the public library yesterday, I decided to catch up on a friend’s blog, in particular his post on divorce and remarriage. In the past, he has posted multi part series on his studies of divorce and remarriage; biblical vs. not, etc. He has never been divorced (praise God!) but has had several people in his life who have been. He opened the post to everyone to provide him with hermeneutical reasons to marry a divorced woman. As I read the posts and multiple comments (including two of my own that were basically: eh, what’s the point?), I saw the BIG piece of the puzzle that everyone else was leaving out, and a lot of similarities to the "old", before salvation, me. I left what may be the longest blog comment in the history of my life and then decided that I’d blog about it here, where my Bible was handy and I could focus.
If you think that following the rules (aka legalism) is your ticket in and is what makes you a Christian (or what Christianity is all about), then my friend, I am about to blow your mind. It’s about God, His love for us, and *heaps* of grace (Christ).
If you think the *ideal* "Christian" marriage will save you (or be free of the risk of divorce), it won’t. If you think *not* remarrying will save you, it won’t. If you think living in Tibet as a hermit will save you, it won’t. Don’t for one second fool yourself by thinking that *your* actions are going to add bonus points with God. Don’t become a whitewashed tomb (See specifically Matt. 23: 27-28, read the whole chapter if you’re so inclined).
The Bible never gives *any* hermeneutical "ok" for *any* of our sin (lying, cheating, murdering, adultery, divorce, sexual impurity, etc.). The Bible will *never* say your sin is okie dokie. There is no such thing as a *lesser evil*. Sin is sin in God’s eyes; he makes no distinction between the white lie you told at breakfast, the gossip you spread at lunch and my divorce. They’re sin. We *are* sinfully evil. Check out 1 Cor. 6:9-10 for a list of those who won’t inherit the kingdom of God. No one is exempt from this list, and then, the escape clause (v.11)!!
You know what the Bible does say? Your only ticket to God, your only ticket to heaven, is Jesus Christ. Your only hope bled out onto the ground. Your only hope, took on all the sins of everyone in the world to the point that God could no longer bear to look at His own Son. And there is NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING that YOU can do to add to that. Your best isn’t good enough and never will be. While God does love you so much, that he sent His Son to die for YOU and your life full of sin, that sin separates Him from you, and the only way to bridge that gap is Christ, like it or not. You and your actions and legalism and following the rules: IT AIN’T GOOD ENOUGH.
Look in the Bible for perfect people and you will find none but one: Christ. Look in the Bible for a list of "permissive sins" and you WON’T FIND IT. Look in the Bible for God’s grace and the times where He has used the absolute worse case scenarios and the absolute "worst people" (you know, sinners?) and YOU WILL FIND IT IN SPADES. Look for His love for you and you will find it nailed to a cross, sung about in the psalms and even in the book of Leviticus (rules that *still* didn’t save God’s chosen people or change their sinful nature).
The piece of the puzzle is this: YOU’RE A SINNER. YOU NEED CHRIST.
Frankly, I want to see all of you in heaven with me, and that won’t happen if you think that following the rules will somehow save you. Only Christ has the power to do that.
Now, some of you are scratching your heads. What did any of that have to do with hermeneutical divorce? It is my firm belief and conviction that any theological discussion leads back to our ONLY hope: Christ. Focusing on divorce vs. remarriage or different scientific creation theories or whatever else you want to debate about, needs to turn to Christ. If you are talking with an unbeliever, and the other topics open that door of communication, take it. You could be the last person who talks to them in this life.
It is a fact that when we sin, God is faithful to forgive us when we ask (I John 1:9). And I’ll close this with a quote from our DivorceCare series: "Divorce is an instance in your life, it is not a way of life" – Dr. Myles Munroe
While killing time at the public library yesterday, I decided to catch up on a friend’s blog, in particular his post on divorce and remarriage. In the past, he has posted multi part series on his studies of divorce and remarriage; biblical vs. not, etc. He has never been divorced (praise God!) but has had several people in his life who have been. He opened the post to everyone to provide him with hermeneutical reasons to marry a divorced woman. As I read the posts and multiple comments (including two of my own that were basically: eh, what’s the point?), I saw the BIG piece of the puzzle that everyone else was leaving out, and a lot of similarities to the "old", before salvation, me. I left what may be the longest blog comment in the history of my life and then decided that I’d blog about it here, where my Bible was handy and I could focus.
If you think that following the rules (aka legalism) is your ticket in and is what makes you a Christian (or what Christianity is all about), then my friend, I am about to blow your mind. It’s about God, His love for us, and *heaps* of grace (Christ).
If you think the *ideal* "Christian" marriage will save you (or be free of the risk of divorce), it won’t. If you think *not* remarrying will save you, it won’t. If you think living in Tibet as a hermit will save you, it won’t. Don’t for one second fool yourself by thinking that *your* actions are going to add bonus points with God. Don’t become a whitewashed tomb (See specifically Matt. 23: 27-28, read the whole chapter if you’re so inclined).
The Bible never gives *any* hermeneutical "ok" for *any* of our sin (lying, cheating, murdering, adultery, divorce, sexual impurity, etc.). The Bible will *never* say your sin is okie dokie. There is no such thing as a *lesser evil*. Sin is sin in God’s eyes; he makes no distinction between the white lie you told at breakfast, the gossip you spread at lunch and my divorce. They’re sin. We *are* sinfully evil. Check out 1 Cor. 6:9-10 for a list of those who won’t inherit the kingdom of God. No one is exempt from this list, and then, the escape clause (v.11)!!
You know what the Bible does say? Your only ticket to God, your only ticket to heaven, is Jesus Christ. Your only hope bled out onto the ground. Your only hope, took on all the sins of everyone in the world to the point that God could no longer bear to look at His own Son. And there is NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING that YOU can do to add to that. Your best isn’t good enough and never will be. While God does love you so much, that he sent His Son to die for YOU and your life full of sin, that sin separates Him from you, and the only way to bridge that gap is Christ, like it or not. You and your actions and legalism and following the rules: IT AIN’T GOOD ENOUGH.
Look in the Bible for perfect people and you will find none but one: Christ. Look in the Bible for a list of "permissive sins" and you WON’T FIND IT. Look in the Bible for God’s grace and the times where He has used the absolute worse case scenarios and the absolute "worst people" (you know, sinners?) and YOU WILL FIND IT IN SPADES. Look for His love for you and you will find it nailed to a cross, sung about in the psalms and even in the book of Leviticus (rules that *still* didn’t save God’s chosen people or change their sinful nature).
The piece of the puzzle is this: YOU’RE A SINNER. YOU NEED CHRIST.
Frankly, I want to see all of you in heaven with me, and that won’t happen if you think that following the rules will somehow save you. Only Christ has the power to do that.
Now, some of you are scratching your heads. What did any of that have to do with hermeneutical divorce? It is my firm belief and conviction that any theological discussion leads back to our ONLY hope: Christ. Focusing on divorce vs. remarriage or different scientific creation theories or whatever else you want to debate about, needs to turn to Christ. If you are talking with an unbeliever, and the other topics open that door of communication, take it. You could be the last person who talks to them in this life.
It is a fact that when we sin, God is faithful to forgive us when we ask (I John 1:9). And I’ll close this with a quote from our DivorceCare series: "Divorce is an instance in your life, it is not a way of life" – Dr. Myles Munroe
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Terminology. Divorce. Social Skills. Stuff.
(Post may or may not make sense, I have an intense headache).
There are two terms that I am sick of hearing and/or reading about.
1. Single again
2. Unequal (or unequally) yokes (or yoked)
I've also been reading the blogs at Boundless, particularly a post about the age old excuse "I Just Haven't Found the Right One" . It reminds me of how I used to think, that divorce would never happen to me. It's a rather self righteous view of thinking. I do think that there are people (I was one of them) who look down on those that are divorced as somehow less deserving or more sinful than they are. I wish divorce didn't happen, I wish it never occurred. Many people have said that they think God hates divorce because it illustrates a relationship of Christ and the church. I think that God hates divorce because it hurts. It hurts more than you can possibly imagine, and can only begin to understand if you have gone through it.
One thing I am grateful for is that the righteous on this (Boundless) blog refuse to date us divorced people. I would think that if they did date a divorce person, or marry them, that it would be something that they would hang over their head or use against them. I could go on and on and on regarding this topic, but I won't tonight!
I didn't plan on taking the new round of DivorceCare classes (they are about 13 weeks), but we had two new people come last week, including a girl who is my age or older. I feel kind of idiotic (ok, stupid & clueless), because I've been praying all along that God would let me use my pain and experience to help others. The pastor's wife sat next to me on Wed. night and asked if I was taking the next round of classes. I said that I hadn't planned on it. She sounded kind of surprised and upset, and said that she was going to introduce me to a lady who would be participating, but instead she's just introduce them to the facilitators. Yesterday it hit me. I can still be a support to the other girls even though I'm focusing more on the future, and less on the past. I went through DivorceCare more or less on my own. It was mostly me and the facilitators. Which is ok, you just don't get as many different opinions or new friends, etc.
Wed. was not a good day for me. I realized that I am horrible at being social and somebody should offer a class on how to interact with people. I've never been great at it, but it's like I'm completely clueless now. I "abandoned" a new acquaintance Wed. night because I was too clueless to get the hint that he didn't want to go to one of the Bible studies on his own and/or wasn't sure what he should pick. (Our mutual, more outgoing friends, weren't there.) It hit me about five minutes later.
There are two terms that I am sick of hearing and/or reading about.
1. Single again
2. Unequal (or unequally) yokes (or yoked)
I've also been reading the blogs at Boundless, particularly a post about the age old excuse "I Just Haven't Found the Right One" . It reminds me of how I used to think, that divorce would never happen to me. It's a rather self righteous view of thinking. I do think that there are people (I was one of them) who look down on those that are divorced as somehow less deserving or more sinful than they are. I wish divorce didn't happen, I wish it never occurred. Many people have said that they think God hates divorce because it illustrates a relationship of Christ and the church. I think that God hates divorce because it hurts. It hurts more than you can possibly imagine, and can only begin to understand if you have gone through it.
One thing I am grateful for is that the righteous on this (Boundless) blog refuse to date us divorced people. I would think that if they did date a divorce person, or marry them, that it would be something that they would hang over their head or use against them. I could go on and on and on regarding this topic, but I won't tonight!
I didn't plan on taking the new round of DivorceCare classes (they are about 13 weeks), but we had two new people come last week, including a girl who is my age or older. I feel kind of idiotic (ok, stupid & clueless), because I've been praying all along that God would let me use my pain and experience to help others. The pastor's wife sat next to me on Wed. night and asked if I was taking the next round of classes. I said that I hadn't planned on it. She sounded kind of surprised and upset, and said that she was going to introduce me to a lady who would be participating, but instead she's just introduce them to the facilitators. Yesterday it hit me. I can still be a support to the other girls even though I'm focusing more on the future, and less on the past. I went through DivorceCare more or less on my own. It was mostly me and the facilitators. Which is ok, you just don't get as many different opinions or new friends, etc.
Wed. was not a good day for me. I realized that I am horrible at being social and somebody should offer a class on how to interact with people. I've never been great at it, but it's like I'm completely clueless now. I "abandoned" a new acquaintance Wed. night because I was too clueless to get the hint that he didn't want to go to one of the Bible studies on his own and/or wasn't sure what he should pick. (Our mutual, more outgoing friends, weren't there.) It hit me about five minutes later.
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