The Call

I'm listening to our Christmas choir music (memorization, memorization!) and taking a pause from sorting/packing/cleaning to blog this thought.

I have never felt more alive than I did doing door-to-door evangelism in South Africa. It's like God said, through every experience, that this is what He created me for. I'll admit that I had been giving God a backseat because I was too stressed over my house situation (I should know better), where to live, what to do about school, etc. I got a call at work on Tuesday telling me that we would be closing by Friday (today) at 9 a.m. I left work early and took off the rest of the week to pack and move. Late Thursday, I got another call that my mortgage company is being difficult (again) and the closing would be delayed due to more paperwork that my mortgage company already has but claims they don't.

After the call yesterday, I've stopped packing and gotten back to seeking God. It's his house. He has his reasons. I'm still trusting, as this isn't a permanent situation. Wednesday I was praying and pacing (out loud) about all the reasons why I thought that I was not qualified to be a missionary and why I was not qualified (re: good enough) to go to seminary.

In August, Dr. York was honest with me when he said that my divorce does present a problem as far as the IMB goes, but that there is a loophole there as well. In that same conversation, he told me that he would complete the church affirmation form required for the application or that I could take it to the church office and get our business manager to sign, as they are the only ones authorized to do so. The form was in my car, ready and waiting. And I panicked. I had this whole argument lined up (I expected opposition) and found none.

So, back to Wednesday. I'm ranting to the bathroom mirror about how professors could be judgmental, students could be judgmental...and then it hit me. My pastor, who teaches at Southern and is on the IMB is supporting me in this. When that sank in, I quit my ranting.

Meanwhile, those who barely know me or went on the South Africa trip, are calling me out. "When are you going overseas again?" "When is your next mission trip?" "Where will you go?" "You should just drop everything and go." "Why are you still here?" Admittedly, some of those comments are intended to be jokes, but they all get down to one point: GO.

Brazil & Single Women

Brazil is a place that is close to my pastor's heart for many reasons. Brazil is one of the foreign mission trips that we will be taking in 2009. Up until this point, I was kind of lukewarm about the idea of going. Africa is a place that is near to my heart and at first I thought I might try to find another group who was going and head back.

I missed the informational meeting (Brazil) this past Sunday and a friend filled me in today on the "gist of it". I did some of my Experiencing God study, and as I ended in prayer, the desire to go suddenly became very strong and very urgent. The only obstacles in my path, as always, are work and money.

I've been going through the Way of the Master training and begun applying the principles locally. I've prayed for a greater burden for the lost and a stronger sense of compassion, to obliterate my (very) strong fear of man. I don't know the exact path that God is leading me on, but I do sense (and pray) that missions will always be an important part of it.

That being said, our Single Ladies Oil Change is this Saturday from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m. Come on out if your car needs an oil change! Pray that we will be faithful in talking to these ladies and ministering to them.

Mission Boards and Articles

I feel pretty crappy today, so I called in to work. Anyway, when I started to feel well enough to sit up straight, I decided to research mission boards. (How awesome would it be if I could find one that would accept me w/out a college degree??)

The first one I decided to look at is the IMB, and I found this really cool story about an art student. If you look at the larger image of the picture, you can see the Bible story cloth in the background. It's also a good tool for American kids. Frankly, I'm dying to go on any of these trips. So for now, I should probably quit looking. I really need to finish my degree.

After I typed this paragraph, I read an article linked to the IMB about what it takes to go. I've been growing and learning a lot through my Experiencing God small group, and after reading the IMB article, something that God has been telling me just made more sense. I've sensed that He wants me to grow closer to Him in the relationship and to trust Him more for my future. Without a very strong faith, I would crumble in the face of intense persecution. I also need to move away from this intense fear of man.

Hmmmm. Funny how I started this post thinking one way, and then it kind of changed into something else.

To the Ends of the Earth

Tonight I gave a brief presentation at my parents' church (my former church) on our mission trip to South Africa. I spoke for about twenty minutes, showed some photos in PowerPoint and answered a few questions after. One of those questions caught me completely off guard.

A member of the church asked me if I would be willing to go on a trip to a place like, say, the jungle to witness to people who have never even seen a white person before. My response was yes, I would go if asked and after praying about it. The same individual says, But you could be killed. Would you still go then? I said yes, and turned my back to them so that they could see the other side of our "official" South Africa 2008 trip t-shirt (irony!). "My shirt has a quote from Jim Elliot, who was martyred in a similar sort of situation."

(The quote: "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.")

I said that if an individual truly believes that God is who He says He is and that if Jesus is who He says He is and that if the Bible is truly what it says it is...then how can you not? Our group ran the risk of making the wrong people angry in South Africa and it is also possible to be killed in America for your faith, although it is less likely.

All in all, it was a good presentation and I hope that this clay vessel was able to deliver the correct message to those who needed to hear it.

This...

....is awesome.